your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
