oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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