I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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