Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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