just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
