Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
