You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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