The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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