thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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