i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
