I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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