i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
