they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
