I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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