hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
