this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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