Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
