she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
