I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
