I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
