No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
