come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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