i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
