every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
