yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
