I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
