I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
