Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
