so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
They left me at home... I'm a liability
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
