haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
