Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
