So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
