it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
