very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
