Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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