OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
