then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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