So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
