Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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