come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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