wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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