So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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