we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
