apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
