You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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