but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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