we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
