I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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