Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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