I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Ladies don't puke and tell
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
