is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
