STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
