i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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