Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
