my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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