he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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