I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize