No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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