Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
