the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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