She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
