I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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